A Man Has Needs

Baby, I wanna tell ya all my hopes, dreams and fears,
But I'm watchin' television, could you get me another beer?
There's wrestling and pro football on, I hope you understand
And I must watch it all, for I am a man

And a man has needs, and a man has desires,
Eternal fires that burn, burn, burn!
And a man, he bleeds, and a man, he perspires,
Till the stains show on his shirt

I missed our anniversary, the birth of our son
It was beyond my control, my team was on a play-off run
Oh, baby, baby, baby, you mean everything to me
But could you move your butt? You're blocking the TV!

Cuz a man has needs, and a man has desires,
Eternal fires that burn, burn, burn!
And a man, he bleeds, and a man, he does tire,
Gets sleepy and naps on the couch.

Mike: Oh baby, oh honey, oh darlin', oh, puddin', I notice you have a suitcase. What do you mean you're leaving me? What do you mean we don't communicate? We're talkin' all the time; We're talkin' about important stuff, like - OOH! Monster trucks... Holy gees, that little Volkswagon ain't got no chance against the Cow Crusher! C'MON, COW CRUSHER!! C'MON! Crush that little Volks- She's gone!! Aw, I hope she left me one of those Pudding Pops. They're tasty.

Cuz a man has needs, and a man has desires
Eternal fires that burn, burn, burn.
And a man, he bleeds, and he shops at Canadian Tire
And he always keeps his coupons.

A man has needs, and a man has desires
Eternal fires that burn, burn, burn
And a man he bleeds, and a man, he expires
And he cried when Wayne Gretzky retired.